How-to
How to Choose Your First Sex Toy (For Any Budget)
A no-judgment guide to choosing your first sex toy, covering which type suits you, safe materials, size, noise, budget and the starter toys worth buying.
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Quick answer
Pick the type before the product. For external stimulation, start with a small vibrator or air-pulse toy. For penetration, choose a slim silicone dildo or vibrator. For a penis, try a sleeve or a simple automatic stroker. Choose body-safe silicone where you can, keep your first toy small, and budget $20–$50. That buys a rechargeable, water-resistant toy without paying for features you don't know you want yet.
The easiest way to choose your first sex toy is to decide what kind of stimulation you want first, then pick the simplest toy that does it. Most first-time buyers are well served by a small rechargeable vibrator for external use, a slim silicone dildo or vibrator for penetration, or a sleeve or basic automatic stroker for a penis. Stick to body-safe materials, ideally silicone, and keep the first one small and inexpensive, around $20–$50. Then upgrade once you know what you like. Price doesn’t make a toy better, but material, size and charging do matter.
This guide combines our earlier “first sex toy” and “perfect sex toy” articles.
Step 1: Decide what you’re curious about
A few honest questions narrow things down quickly:
- External or internal? Clitoral, nipple or penis-head stimulation is external. Vaginal, anal and prostate stimulation are internal.
- Solo, partnered, or both? Some toys are designed to be worn or held during sex with a partner.
- Penetration or not? If you’re unsure, start external. It’s easy to add a second toy later.
- Privacy: do you share walls, need something quiet, or need to store it discreetly?
If you’re still unsure, start small and simple. A small vibrator is the most versatile first toy for most people, whatever their anatomy.
Step 2: Match the toy type to what you want
| If you want… | Start with | Avoid as a first toy |
|---|---|---|
| External clitoral stimulation | A bullet, finger vibrator or air-pulse (“suction”) toy | Large dual-stimulation rabbits |
| Broad, strong external vibration | A small rechargeable wand | Plug-in wands with stiff heads |
| Vaginal penetration | A slim silicone dildo or G-spot vibrator | Large or very firm toys |
| Anal play | A small plug or graduated beads with a flared base | Anything without a flared base |
| Penis stimulation | A sleeve or a simple suction automatic stroker | Expensive thrusting machines |
| Something to use with a partner | A finger vibrator, vibrating ring or remote wearable | Toys neither of you has discussed |
Our deeper guides go further by type: best vibrators under $50, suction vs licking vs vibration, best sex toys for men, best prostate massagers for beginners and best sex toys for foreplay.
Step 3: Choose a body-safe material
This matters more than any feature. Anything that goes inside the body, or touches mucous membranes, should be non-porous so it can be cleaned properly.
- Silicone: soft, non-porous, easy to clean. The best all-round choice. “Medical-grade” is a marketing term with no agreed standard for sex toys, so look for plain silicone with a stated material rather than the label alone.
- ABS plastic: hard, non-porous, common for bullet and wand housings.
- Glass and stainless steel: firm, non-porous and very easy to clean.
- TPE and TPR: soft and cheap, common in sleeves and dolls. They are porous, so they need thorough cleaning and drying and wear out sooner. That’s acceptable for external sleeves; we don’t recommend them for internal toys.
- Jelly rubber and PVC: porous, and older products may contain plasticisers. We’d avoid them for anything internal.
Toy materials explained covers each one in detail.
Step 4: Get the size right
Bigger isn’t better, especially at first. For anything internal, the diameter matters more than the length. Look for a tapered tip, a manageable width (around 1–1.4 in for most beginners) and, for anal toys, a flared base or external arm so it can’t travel too far. For external toys, a shape you can hold comfortably matters more than power.
Step 5: Check charging, noise and water resistance
- Rechargeable vs batteries: rechargeables cost a little more upfront but save money and are usually stronger. Most toys over $20 are now USB or magnetic-charging.
- Noise: if you share walls, look for a listed noise figure under about 50–55 dB, but treat it as a rough guide. Manufacturers measure noise in different ways.
- Water resistance: IPX7 means it can be rinsed or briefly submerged; IPX5 and IPX6 mean splash- and jet-resistant only. If you want to use it in the shower, look for IPX7.
Step 6: Set a budget
You don’t need to spend $100 on a first toy.
Under $50: where most first toys should be
Up to $50
- What to expect
- Rechargeable bullets, finger vibes and small wands
- Silicone bodies and splash resistance or better
- Basic air-pulse toys and simple automatic strokers
- Typical compromises
- Fewer settings
- Shorter warranties
- Fewer independent reviews to check
$50–$100: worth it once you know what you like
Up to $100
- What to expect
- App control and quieter motors
- Dual stimulation
- Swappable sleeves, heating or thrusting
- Typical compromises
- More features to learn
- Higher cost if it turns out not to suit you
Bigger budgets mostly buy brand names, app features and longer warranties, which is better value on a second or third toy.
Starter toys we’d consider
These are catalogue products that fit the advice above. They’re examples of each starter type, not ranked awards.
A finger vibrator is the easiest first toy to use alone or with a partner:
Easiest to use with a partner
Finger Vibes G Spot Vibrator for Clit & Nipple Stimulator Couples Toys
Best for Couples and foreplay: it goes where your hand already is.
A finger-worn vibrator with ten settings, light enough to use during partnered sex or foreplay.
- Worn on a finger
- Ten vibration settings
- Under 0.2 lb
- Settings
- 10 Manufacturer-stated
- Ring opening
- 1.18 in Manufacturer-stated
- Material
- Silicone Retailer listing
- Waterproof rating
- IPX6 Retailer listing
An air-pulse toy suits anyone who finds direct vibration too intense:
Gentle, indirect stimulation
Bestvibe - Rose-Patterned Clitoral Stimulator, 7-Speed Suction Bullet Vibrator
Best for Indirect clitoral stimulation for people who find direct vibration too intense.
A small rose-shaped air-pulse stimulator with seven suction levels and magnetic charging.
- Seven suction levels
- Compact rose shape
- Magnetic charging
A small wand gives broad external vibration and works well for couples:
Broad external vibration
Bestvibe 8 Speeds 20 Frequencies Vibrating AV Clitoral G-Spot Massager
Best for Broad external vibration, couples use and anyone who finds bullets too pinpoint.
A compact rechargeable wand with a flexible neck, eight speeds and twenty patterns, priced well below most wands.
- Eight speeds and twenty patterns
- IPX7 rating
- Listed run time of about 80 minutes
- Settings
- 8 speeds, 20 patterns Manufacturer-stated
- Run time
- 80 min Manufacturer-stated
- Length
- 8.07 in Manufacturer-stated
- Material
- Silicone Retailer listing
- Waterproof rating
- IPX7 Retailer listing
For penetration, a slim, flexible silicone vibrator is a gentler start than most dildos. Many budget dildos are wider than they look in photos, so check the listed diameter.
Slim internal vibrator
Ava 6 Vibrating Clitoris Stimulation Flexible G-Spot Vibrators
Best for Beginners who want a slim internal vibrator that is easy to use and quiet.
A slim, flexible silicone G-spot vibrator with six settings and the lowest listed noise figure in this price band.
- Slim, flexible shaft
- Listed noise under 45 dB
- IPX6 rating
- Noise (listed)
- <45 dB Manufacturer-stated
- Run time
- 55 min Manufacturer-stated
- Material
- Silicone Retailer listing
- Waterproof rating
- IPX6 Retailer listing
For a penis, a budget automatic stroker shows whether powered toys suit you before you spend more. If you just want to try a sleeve, a disposable one is cheaper still. See our Tenga Egg review.
Budget automatic stroker
Kama – Suction & Vibration Automatic Stroker
Best for Trying an automatic stroker for the first time without spending much.
One of the cheapest automatic strokers in the catalogue: a clear-sleeve suction and vibration cup with manual suction control.
- Suction and vibration with seven settings
- Clear sleeve that is easy to check when cleaning
- One-year replacement warranty, per Bestvibe
Don’t forget lube and cleaning
Almost every toy feels better with lube. Water-based lube is safe with every toy material, including silicone. Our lube compatibility guide explains when silicone or oil-based lubes are a problem.
Water-based lube
Bestvibe - 120ml Ultra Smooth Water-Based Lubricant Toys & Condom Compatible
Wash your toy before first use and after every use with warm water and a mild, unscented soap, then let it dry completely. How to clean your sex toys safely covers each material and toy type.
Tips for the first time
- Use lube, even if you don’t think you need it.
- Start on the lowest setting and work up.
- Give yourself time and privacy. There’s no right way for it to feel.
- If something hurts, stop.
- If you share toys with a partner, the NHS advises using a new condom on the toy for each person and each body opening, and washing toys with soap and water between sessions.
Where to buy
Buy from a retailer that lists materials, dimensions and a water rating for each product, and that ships discreetly. Avoid listings with no material information. Our product links go to Bestvibe. Read is Bestvibe legit? for its shipping and returns policies before you order.
Frequently asked questions
Is it weird to buy a sex toy if I've never had one?
No. Sex toys are mainstream products sold by pharmacies and big-box retailers as well as specialist shops. Buying one is a normal way to learn what you enjoy, on your own or with a partner.
Do I need a partner to use a sex toy?
No. Most toys are designed for solo use, and many also work with a partner. Finger vibrators, vibrating rings and remote-controlled wearables are the easiest to bring into partnered sex.
Are cheap sex toys safe?
They can be. Price matters less than material. A $20 silicone toy is a safer choice than a $40 toy made from jelly or PVC. Check the material, avoid toys with a strong chemical smell, and buy from a retailer that lists what the toy is made of.
What if I don't like my first toy?
That's common, and it's why we suggest starting at a modest price. Note what you didn't like (too strong, too buzzy, too big, too loud) and use that to choose the next one. Most retailers, including Bestvibe, won't accept returns on used toys for hygiene reasons, so check the policy before buying.
Where should I store my sex toy?
Clean and dry, in a fabric pouch or its box, away from other toys. Some materials react when stored touching each other. Keep it out of direct heat and sunlight.
Sources
- Sexual health for lesbian and bisexual women — NHS. Use a new condom on shared toys for each partner or body opening; wash toys with soap and water between sessions.